


Corner of the World 4: Coming Out

by serafina20



Series: Corner of the World [4]
Category: Smallville
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-02-20
Updated: 2011-02-20
Packaged: 2017-10-15 19:20:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/164120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/serafina20/pseuds/serafina20
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clark accidentally comes out to Lex.  Set after 'Hothead'</p>
            </blockquote>





	Corner of the World 4: Coming Out

Lex rested like he did everything else: as if he were performing for the audience of the world. Even with his eyes closed, head resting against the back of the patchwork sofa, his fingers steepled under his chin, and his body slouched with causal indifference, Clark could tell that his friend was very much aware of everything around him. There was something very deliberate about him, as if he wanted to relax but couldn't quite let go. So, instead of actually relaxing, he was putting on a show of _Lex at Rest_ for the patrons of the Beanery.

Clark ran a hand through his hair and shifted his weight, completely nervous by Lex's presence. He wasn't sure if he should go over and disturb Lex. If he went over, Lex wasn't going to shun him, probably. They were in public; he couldn't help but acknowledge Clark's existence. After all, they weren't enemies, as far as Clark knew. Lex didn't have a reason to ignore him. Still, he was unsure of his reception. He and Lex hadn't talked in awhile; what if Lex just said hi and left? Or looked at him through disapproving eyes because he knew that Clark wanted him. Or...

"Hey, Clark? Are you going to order?" Chloe asked, breaking into his thoughts.

"Huh? Oh, right. I'll have a coffee for here," he told the waitress, who was smiling up at him expectantly.

"That'll be right up."

"What?" he asked Chloe as she looked at him through narrowed eyes.

"Nothing," she answered. "Except I thought you said you were heading home."

"Right. I was. But, uh," he glanced over at Lex again.

Chloe followed his gaze. "Ah. So… did he call you this morning or something?"

Clark shook his head. "No. This is just a coincidence. Do you think I should go over?"

"What does it matter what I think?"

"What do you mean?" Clark looked back at her.

She looked confused and a little annoyed. It was the same look that she got sometimes when he angsted about Lana. "He's your friend, Clark. What does it matter what I think? I mean, it's not like he's Lana or something."

His face warmed before he had a chance to attempt to stop it. Guilt twisted his stomach into one giant knot and he had to duck his head to avoid meeting Chloe's eyes. "I know he's not like Lana or something," he managed to say, sounding lame even to his ears. "I just...well, everyone keeps reminding me how he's older than me and has a business to run. I just meant does he look busy? Should I go over and interrupt him?"

"Jesus, Clark. He's sitting with his eyes closed and a book in his lap. He isn't working, or, if he is, he's taking a break. You're the one who's always saying how nice he is and how all he wants is to be accepted. So just... just go over and say hi."

The waitress came over with their drinks: regular coffee in a mug for Clark and a cappuccino in a to-go cup for Chloe.

"Yeah, I guess you're right," Clark said finally, gripping his drink tightly between his hands. He could do this. He could go over and say hi to Lex. After all, he'd spent the night with him. Uh, over at his place. It wasn't like he was a stranger. "Ok. I'm going to go over."

"Can I meet him?" Chloe asked.

"Yeah, sure. Come on."

Heart pounding, Clark began the long trek across the Beanery to the corner where Lex had hidden himself. Lex's eyes were still closed, pale, thin eyelashes glinting from the lights above his chair. He seemed even paler than normal since the light did nothing for his complexion. In the sunlight, Lex looked pale and magnificent. In the moonlight, Clark was sure he looked the same. Cool, collected, and stunning. In the artificial lights that illuminated the back most parts of the Beanery, he looked wan. Beautiful, since, of course, he was always beautiful, but ashy and a tad sickly.

Not for the first time, Clark wondered exactly what had happened to Lex that made him so very bald. At first he assumed it was cancer. Chemotherapy and radiation affected people in different ways and it was possible, he supposed, that whatever treatment Lex had received had left him relatively hairless.

And then, his conscious would intrude with the calculations he had made late one night. If Lex was twenty one and he had been bald since he was nine, that meant he lost his hair sometime in 1989. And while everything weird in Smallville may seem like Clark's fault these days, that didn't mean that everything really was. The fact that the Luthor's bought the plant in the fall of 1989 didn't have to be anything but a coincidence.

But Clark was beginning to lose his faith in coincidences. Everything in Smallville seemed to be affected by the meteor rocks and if somehow Lex had been exposed to them... well, then his baldness had to be Clark's fault too.

And the kicker was, Clark wouldn't change Lex for the world. Not his looks, not his family, not anything. Which made him feel guiltiest of all.

Clark and Chloe were almost on him when one of Lex's eyes twitched. Closer now, Clark could see how tense his friend was. Much too tense to be relaxed or for it just to be an act as Clark had suspected at first.

 _Lex_ he thought _why can't you just let go?_

Lex's eyes flew open as if he were startled. They immediately latched onto Clark's. One eyebrow arched in surprise, and he watched curiously as Clark and Chloe approached him.

"Hey, Lex," Clark managed to say in a steady voice. He surreptitiously wiped one palm on his jeans, holding the coffee mug in the other.

"Clark. Hi. Did you...did you say anything? Before just now?" Lex asked almost hesitantly. His eyes fastened briefly on Chloe before dismissing her and returning to Clark.

He shook his head. "No, why?"

Lex shook his head and laughed slightly. "No reason. I'm just going insane, that's all. Hi," he said to Chloe, leaning forward, extending his hand. "I'm Lex."

Chloe took it, her eyes almost devouring his face, watching him with what Clark called her reporter eyes. "Chloe. Nice to meet you."

"You too." He turned his eyes back to Clark and smiled a smile that hit Clark somewhere in the middle of his chest and spread warm waves through his body.

He shifted, ran a hand through his hair, and returned it, feeling shy.

The older man seemed... amused wasn't quite the right word. Pleased was closer. Lex took a sip of his drink, set it on the coffee table that was separating him from Clark and Chloe and asked, "So, what have you two been up to today?"

Sitting in a chair facing Lex's sofa, he answered, "We went to the movies. Pete was supposed to come too, but he's sick." He hesitated a moment, leaned forward to set his coffee down, and said, "How have you been, lately?"

Lex paused, his eyes flicking up to Chloe. "Good. I've been good. Dad was furious about my decision not to fire anyone at the plant, but he'll get over it. He'd better. I'm in charge of this plant and I have to run it the way I feel best. He needs to learn to trust me.."

"I'm sure he does, really. Dads sometimes have a hard time letting go. He probably knows that you're competent and can make your own decisions, but he worries."

"I just wish he would actually worry about me and not the damn business."

"Lex," Clark started, scooting forward on his chair. He reached across to touch Lex when Chloe suddenly interrupted.

"I'd love to stay and talk business and stuff, but I've got to go work on the paper. My big editorial is going out next week and I want to get started." Her head was tilted, and she was gazing at Lex through narrowed eyes.

"What a shame," Lex said evenly, his eyes on hers. He seemed to be looking her with sudden, special interest.

"Yes, isn't it? I would love to stay and get to know you better. Clark says so little about you, but I find you fascinating. All that money, all that education. All that world experience. Not something that most people here would understand, but I've been dying to hear a little of. Not being from Smallville, I sometimes miss the fast pace life of the city. Ever feel that way, Lex?"

Clark could almost hear the wall slam around Lex as his eyes abruptly became devoid of any real emotion or expression. Another mask. A pleasant, polite mask with just the edge of 'don't fuck with me' to it.

He wondered what the hell was going on.

"Oh, I don't know," Lex responded pleasantly, the rich boy he was born rising to the surface. "There are some people in Smallville who seem pretty wise to the world."

"No one I know."

Lex raised an eyebrow. "Maybe you're letting your prejudice blind you."

"And maybe you're just being polite. Until you get what you want, that is."

"All I want is to live here peacefully, make some friends, and make some money. Is that too much to ask for?"

"Depends on what you look for in friends. I'm sure that your definition might be different from, say, Clark's."

"Chloe," Clark began to protest, but Lex touched him gently on the knee, stopping him.

Leaving his hand on Clark's knee, he said, "People's definition of something may differ in the particulars, but that doesn't mean they can't be compatible. Clark may be my friend for one reason, I may be his for another, but that doesn't mean that, in the end, we aren't both due to a mutual respect and genuine liking for each other." He tilted his head, eyes narrowing. "Much like your relationship with him, I suspect."  
Chloe's eyes darkened ever so slightly. She raised her chin. "Of course. Well, anyway, I've got to be off. See you at school, Clark."

"Chloe, wait, I . . ."

"Bye." Without waiting, she pivoted on her foot and left.

Clark turned to Lex, his eyebrows lowered slightly. "What did I miss?"

Lex shook his head and squeezed Clark's knee gently. "Nothing. But I don't think she likes me very much."

"She doesn't know you," Clark protested. " If she did, I'm sure she'd love you."

"Like you love me, Clark?" Lex responded, seeming amused. The mask was gone and Lex seemed to be himself. Well, as much as himself as he ever was.

Clark flushed even though he knew that Lex was only teasing him. "I don't know. You don't return my calls, that guy told me that you were out when you weren't. That kind of behavior is hard to love." Then, seeing Lex disappear behind the emotionless mask, he shook his head. "Don't. Please. This won't work if you hide from me."

Lex sat back, taking a long sip of his drink. "I don't know what you mean."  
"Lex, please," he begged. "Don't do this. Hide like that. I like you, you know I do. You're my friend. I'm not angry or trying to attack you or anything. I'm just, I don't know. Hurt. You hurt me."

"And how did I do that?" That same damn even tone.

Clark set his jaw. "You wouldn't return any of my calls. I went over to see you and your assistant or whoever that was said you were out. I left a message and again, nothing. It felt like you lied to me. One night I'm your friend and the next I'm some annoying kid who's trying to take up your precious time."

He was silent for a long time, not meeting Clark's eyes. Slowly, painfully slowly, the mask began to dissolve. It was an obvious, visible effort on Lex's part to discard the mask, but he was doing it. The real Lex, the one that Clark knew best, was becoming more and more apparent on his face, his shoulder's relaxing, eyes becoming stormy with thought. As if he were trying to say something honest and it wasn't easy for him.

"I'm sorry," Lex said finally, looking up at Clark. His eyes were slightly guarded, but real emotion shone in them. "I was busy. Work and stuff just closed in around me. Whenever Dad starts knocking on my door, I get tense. He doesn't know, but he actually affects my health. He makes me get headaches. I'm so busy trying to be perfect, I tense up a lot. But that's not really an excuse. I should have called you back, even if only to tell you I didn't have the time to talk. I should have let you know I was still there. But I didn't."

"Why didn't you?" Clark asked, lounging pseudo-casually in his chair. He sipped his coffee, trying to appear indifferent. Really, his heart was pounding and his damn palms were starting to sweat again.

He shrugged. "I needed some space, I guess. What with the plant and Dad and the headaches and everything, my life was crowded. And," he took a deep breath, "I guess I needed some time away from you."

"What did I do?" Not that he didn't think he already knew, but Clark had to hear it out loud.

"Nothing, Clark. Just followed your heart."

So that was it; he had been right. Somehow, Clark had blown everything. He had let it slip how he felt about Lex, and Lex had freaked out. He just wished he could remember exactly what he had said. But that didn't really matter. All that mattered was fixing the mess he had made. "Lex, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to ..."

"Clark," Lex interrupted, "it's all right. I mean, I knew how you felt before and I..."

"You did? I was trying to hide it, I swear, Lex, I was. I would never want to make you uncomfortable or anything. I mean, I don't even know..."

"Clark, what are you talking about? I gave that necklace to you so..."

"What's going on," he continued, not hearing Lex. "I swear I can fight this. It doesn't have to affect our friendship. I mean, I've never been attracted to any guy ever and this thing with you, I mean, it's gotta be temporary, right? You don't have to freak or…"

"Clark. Clark! Shut up!" Lex launched himself across the coffee table, slapping his hand across Clark's mouth. The other curved around the back of Clark's head, threading into his hair, gripping tightly.

Clark kept talking for a few seconds before he realized that Lex's hand was pressed against his lips. The older man had one knee on the table, his other leg standing on the floor. The cappuccino was spilled on the floor and Lex's bright blue eyes drilling into his.

"Lex?" Clark tried to say, raising one eyebrow. Mouth stopped up as it was, it sounded like a muffled and vaguely obscene moan.

Lex made a sound that sounded halfway between a laugh and a bark. "Clark," he said softly, "I'm not sure what you're talking about, but I was talking about Lana. I saw you on the field with her after the big game. I assumed that you two were sharing a moment. Connecting. And that bothered me." He licked his lips and tilted his head to the side.

Clark's eyes felt so wide he was certain they were going to pop out of his head. He was surprised that Lex's hand wasn't on fire, he felt so hot. Twisting out of the other man's grip, Clark said shakily, "You were talking about Lana?"

"Yes."

"And I...I... oh God." He bolted out of his chair, accidentally throwing Lex off balance and ran out of the Beanery. He didn't care what people thought, he didn't care if anyone saw him. He just needed to get away. "I screwed up everything," he whispered, running as fast as he could towards home, away from town, and, most important, away from Lex.

* * *

"Clark wait!" Lex called as Clark broke away from him and bolted out of the Beanery. "Shit." He pushed himself off the floor, grabbed his wallet, threw some money at the waitress, and followed Clark's path out of the coffee house.

"Clark!" he shouted when he hit the street.

By now, Clark was a distant figure. He was running with incredible speed out of town, towards his home.

"That kid can run," Lex marveled as he jumped into his car and sped down the street. As usual, his music was blaring, designed to give him the blessed distraction from his thoughts he usually needed. Usually, but not now. Right now, he needed to think.

He flipped the music off, hitting the gas, trying to catch up with Clark. At the edge of town, he was forced to slam on his breaks, barely missing the truck stopped at a red light in front of him. "Damn it!" he swore, trying to see around the truck.

Another car pulled behind him, effectively blocking him in for the moment.

Fuming, he glared at the truck, drumming his fingers on the wheel. His mind was reeling.

He had told the truth. Lex had been totally honest, telling Clark that seeing him with Lana had driven him crazy. And what did Clark do? Clark fucking _came out_ to him in the middle of the fucking coffee house. That wasn't supposed to happen. Clark wasn't supposed to know that he wanted Lex. He was supposed to be too innocent to get that; at least, that's what Lex thought. Apparently he'd thought wrong.

The light changed. He hit the gas, swerved around the truck in the middle of the intersection, and roared out of town.

Lex was supposed to be the one to teach Clark what the boy wanted, what his body desired. Lex. That was half the fun.

Driving at sixty miles an hour after a kid who had, quite impossibly, fucking disappeared while Lex had been stuck at the longest light in history, was not fun.

Granted, it was the twenty-first century, even in Smallville. And the world was becoming more open about this sort of thing. Homosexuality. But, this was Smallville and Clark was supposed to be innocent. Pure. Naive.  
But he wasn't. Clark was attracted to Lex, and he knew he was attracted to Lex. And it was obviously driving the poor kid crazy. Lex had never seen such guilt in anyone's eyes before, or such terror. He was afraid of getting caught but, even more than that, he was afraid of losing Lex.

A grin spread across Lex's face. He felt like a moron, but he couldn't help it. At his age he should be beyond this feeling, this pure, unadulterated joy that spread through him in a rush. In fact, instead of being happy, he should be studying the implications of the fact that Clark seemed willing to compromise his feelings to be with Lex. Following simple logic, he then would be willing to compromise other values to keep him around. Right? If followed, right?

But that implication didn't matter. It wasn't what was making him grin like a fool. In fact, all he could think was, "Clark Kent likes me," over and over in a sing-song voice.

Clark was nowhere in sight. Figuring that he had probably headed home, Lex sped down the road towards the Kent's farm. He was going so fast, so intent on his destination, he almost missed Clark, who was standing inside the fence that separated Kent Farms from the road. He looked furious, his face red and angry, right fist slamming into his left hand, over and over as he paced.

Lex slammed on his breaks, nearly hitting his head on the steering wheel. "Clark!" he shouted.

Bad idea. As soon as Clark saw who had pulled up, he began running towards a grove of trees about a half a mile inside the fence dividing the land from the road.

Lex got out of his car and jogged across the road. Jumping the fence, he began running towards the trees. It didn't matter that he was dressed for a day in town; if he ruined his clothes, he could always buy more. He was willing to risk a little dirt for Clark.

Breath was a different matter. He was forced to slow down as his heart began pounding and his head spun from too much dirt and too little air. It wasn't that he was out of shape; it was that he was too anxious. Fuck, he was worried about what was going to happen. Scared, just like a kid. Or a teenager.

By the time he reached the trees, Clark was long gone.

"Damn," he gasped, stopping. He was wheezing, panting for air. Furious, he pulled his inhaler from his pocket and took a few puffs. "Damn, damn, damn."

And then, he saw Clark's head peering out at him through the grove of trees. He was in a tree house, the door being held up so he could slide out on his stomach. When he saw Lex looking at him, he disappeared, the door slamming shut.

Lex coughed once, then walked to the tree Clark was in. They were on a slight hill overlooking the rest of the farm. Standing besides it, Lex could just make out the main house and the barn. They looked small and homey, idyllic. The trees were in a good location for someone who wanted to get away from the main house and all the occupants, but still be close enough to home to feel safe. Perfect for a child who needed to run away for a few hours. Especially if he had a dad who could build him such a great tree house, large enough to have a friend spend the night, and small enough to be cozy and cave-like. Private.

It really was a nice tree house, Lex decided, circling the tree. Not too high, not too low, the house was well supported by the strong lower branches of the tree. It was square and large enough for a grown man to lie down in. Gingham curtains framed the three windows. The entrance was a door that pushed straight up; there was a hook on overhanging roof where it could be locked open. A ladder was nailed to the trunk, each rung painted either blue or red. The house looked old, well used, and abandoned, as if left for newer and bigger hideouts.

Lex stopped beneath the door, looking up. "Clark?"

"Go away!" came the muffled response.

"I'm not going anywhere. We need to talk, you know we do. Hiding isn't going to make me go away; I'm a Luthor. We're a pretty determined bunch." He smiled, the stopped, realizing the tree didn't give a damn. "Come on, Clark. Please, come out."

A strangely hysterical laugh floated down. "I think I just did."

"Clark. . ."

The door flew open and Clark popped his head out. "You want to know the stupidest thing about all this? I'm not gay! I like girls. I'd even like to have sex with one someday. I have never been into men and have never even thought about having sex with one, ever. And then you come into town all handsome and sexy and perfect like you are and make me think, 'Ok. Well, maybe. But just him.' And instead of keeping it to myself like any normal person would, I have to let it slip." The door dropped and he disappeared again.

Lex sighed and kicked the tree gently. "Ok, so you're not gay. I don't think you are. I know how much you like Lana. Maybe you're bisexual."

"Oh great. Now I'm not only a sexual deviant, but I'm a sexual deviant with who'll sleep with anyone and everyone. That's just perfect. Dad's going to love this."

"First of all, don't think like that. And don't say it. I like you, Clark, and I don't like many people. And I definitely don't like small minded bigots. There is nothing wrong with homosexuality. Saying that it's deviant makes is dirty or wrong and I don't think it is. And there's nothing wrong with bisexuality, either. Everything bad you hear is misinformation and hatred and I don't see the need for it. Besides," Lex took a deep breath, "I'm bi."

Long fucking silence. It was so quite that Lex swore he could hear Jonathan shouting at some broken machine, a car driving down the road, birds singing in the trees, and all that other crap you hear in the country. And yet, it was a marvel he could hear anything over the pounding of his heart in his ears.

It wasn't that he was in the closet or anything, at least not outside of Smallville. Coming out was a normal thing for him; he couldn't stay in the closet if he tried. But, this was Clark. It was different.

"Clark?"

The door opened again, this time locking open. Clark slid halfway out, his hands gripping the edge of the house. His eyes were wide and unreadable. "Really?"

"Yes," he answered simply. "All my life. Gender has never mattered to me. My first crush was on our gardener's son when I was six. He was seventeen and it wasn't meant to be, but I remember following him when I got the chance, worshiping him and the way he smiled and the way the sun hit his skin. He was fantastic. And when I was eight I had a crush on my piano teacher, Miss Sara. She was perfect: perfect skin, perfect teeth, perfect nails. As I got older, nothing changed. If I liked a person or if I were attracted to them, I went for it and didn't care about anything else."

"Doesn't it bother you?"

Lex shook his head. "No, because it's normal for me. It's who I am. I'm not saying that you're the same way, because everyone is different. Some people fit the stereotype where they'll do anyone and anything, no matter what gender. Having sex is all that matters. Some people go just on personality and only fall for certain people. It's the same with monosexuals; everyone is different."

"Where are you on that scale?"

"That's a rather personal question, Clark."

"I know." His eyes were determined, curious, and serious.

Lex nodded slowly, then said, "There have been times in my life where it's just about sex. And then, there have been times in my life when it was about the person. I don't sleep around like I used to; I tried it, liked it, I got in some trouble, I stopped. I don't think I'd do it again; it's not who I am anymore."

Clark licked his lips, resting his chin on his clasped hands. "So, it's not necessarily a bad thing then, right?"

"I don't think so, no."

"Then why did you stop me? In the Beanery? When you realized what I was saying, you stopped me."

Lex laughed softly. "Two reasons. One, you weren't listening to me because you were all wrapped up in your personal guilt. And, two, I didn't think you wanted to come out in a public place."

Clark flushed and shook his head. "No, I don't. I mean, all these feelings are new to me. I'm not ready to share them with all of Smallville, especially since I'm not sure most everyone would understand. Or approve."

"It's probably a good idea if you were discreet. All things considering."

"I'm not worried about myself, but I don't want anything to happen to my parents because I'm… different. Ah, man," he sighed, resting his forehead on his hands. "Why me?"

Slowly, Lex climbed the first few steps of the ladder. "Why you what?"

"Why do I have to be so different?"

"You're not all that different. It may feel like you are, but you aren't. There are plenty of..."

"Lex, please." He lifted his head, looking into Lex's eyes. "It's not just this. It's everything in my life right now. Suddenly it's been turned upside down with a bunch of stuff that I can't tell anyone and now I have this added to everything. Maybe being gay or whatever is common in Metropolis, but here it's not." He sighed, eyes troubled. "I don't want to end up in that corn field again."

"No. I don't want that either." Lex pulled himself up the rest of the way, bringing his head level with Clark's. "But I don't want you thinking that you're abnormal. You're not. And don't start thinking that your feelings are wrong, because they aren't either. Just let yourself feel what you feel and everything else will fall into place."

Clark sighed. "I don't know how I feel about anything anymore."

A perfect opening if there ever was one.

Taking a deep breath, Lex leaned forward and kissed Clark.

He jerked in surprise and made a sound deep in his throat, but he didn't pull away. The first few seconds he didn't do anything, actually: didn't respond, didn't pull away, nothing. Lex was about to give up when, suddenly, Clark's lips moved against his. It was tentative and unsure but he. Kissed. Lex. Back.

Lex opened his mouth slightly, running his tongue along Clark's lower lip, not seeking entrance, just tasting. Clark made another sound and opened his mouth, his own tongue darting shyly out to touch Lex's. Lex resisted the urge to draw it into his mouth, instead drawing back and resting his forehead against Clark's.

For a long time, neither said anything. The air around them was filled with their heavy breathing, matched perfectly, as if they were one. If Lex concentrated, he could swear he could hear their hearts pounding in the same rhythm and he wondered if he was going crazy.

"Well?" Lex asked softly, readjusting his grip on the ladder.

"It was . . .different," Clark answered, licking his lips almost thoughtfully.

Lex raised his eyebrow. "Good different?"

"Really good different." He closed his eyes and brought his lips to Lex's again. It was an open mouthed kiss, tongue slowly entering Lex's mouth, hesitant at first, but growing bolder by the moment.

Lex sucked it into his mouth, greeting it enthusiastically. He was melting into the kiss, falling in it. It surprised him, how well Clark could kiss. He was a little shy and unsure, but someone, somewhere, had taught him the basics. And the more he got into it, the more daring he got. His tongue was searching new places to touch and caress, before massaging Lex's with surer and surer strokes.

Lex's body began to grow warm, a slow, serpentine sensation uncoiling in his belly. And all this from just mouths. He needed more, more contact, more pressure, more Clark.

Breaking the kiss, he started to say, "Clark..."

But Clark wasn't hearing any of it. Grabbing Lex by the back of the head, Clark forced him back, deepening the kiss.

Lex moaned deep in his throat. One hand reached up to thread through Clark's silky hair. Once off the ladder, his fingers cramped almost frantically for stronger purchase.

He'd conquered his fear of heights years ago, really. But that was under circumstances where he knew he was safe. Clinging to a ladder nailed to the tree with one hand, while the other clung to hair, no matter how thick, was not safe. Lex was suddenly overcome with the fear that he'd be thrown backwards, hitting the ground with a force strong enough to crack his skull.

A shiver of fear erupted in his belly, replacing the happy arousal of the moment before. He tightened his grip on the ladder, his entire body tensing, waiting for the inevitable.

"Shhh," Clark whispered suddenly, kissing one of Lex's temples. He grabbed Lex under the arms and lifted him into the tree house as easily as lifting a doll. Closing the door, Clark wrapped his arms around Lex, trailing small, wet kisses from Lex's ear to his mouth. "Better?"

"How did you know I was..." Lex couldn't quite get himself to admit he was scared.  
Clark shrugged. "I don't know. I could just tell."

A small smile playing on his lips, Lex rose to his knees, facing Clark. "You really are my hero, aren't you?" he asked throatily. Bringing his hands to Clark's temples, he threaded his fingers through the black tresses, sliding around until he could interlace his fingers in back. "Thank you."

He shivered at his caress, a lovely, full body shudder racking him. Clark's pupils were dilated, the normal blue almost indigo with desire. His cheeks were flushed, lips swollen, chest rising and falling rapidly as he gazed at Lex.

Innocence inflamed with lust; almost better innocence in pain. Almost.

Lex brushed his lips over Clark's forehead, each eye, nose, cheeks, and finally, lips. Clark tried to deepen the kiss, but Lex only teased, his tongue wetting the bow of the curved lips before pulling back. Releasing his hold on Clark's hair, he took hold Clark's dark blue sweater and slowly tugged the shirt underneath out of his jeans and inched it up his chest. Even though his entire body was screaming at him to rip Clark's clothes off, pin him to the floor, and fuck him, Lex restrained himself. Clark was nervous, his shoulder's tight, jaw tense… Uncertainty, nervousness, desire, and curiosity rolled off him in waves, filling Lex's head, making him feel dizzy, like he had drunk too much wine. It was delicious.

And, at the same time, sobering. It reminded him that he was dealing with a virgin. Not only was Clark a virgin, but being with a man was a whole new concept for him. So he wanted to give Clark time to stop if he needed.

Clark suddenly pulled away and ripped his shirt and sweater off in one fluid movement. Surprised, Lex raised an eyebrow, his eyes feasting on the glory that was Clark.

"You're beautiful," he said softly, reaching out to pet the baby soft skin. Raising his eyes once more to Clark's, Lex ran his hand over Clark's nipple, capturing it between his fingers.

Clark gasped as Lex began kneading the tender nub, flicking it with his thumb before rolling it between the thumb and forefinger. Once it was suitably peaked, he moved to the other.

"Lex," Clark whispered raggedly, his head falling back slightly, baring his throat.

"Yes, Clark?" he replied, leaning forward. He gently bit his neck, worrying the spot between his teeth. After a moment, he released the skin and licked it a couple times before moving on.

Grasping Lex too tightly around his upper torso, Clark dragged Lex to him, kissing him savagely. Taken off guard, Lex went weak, his breath leaving his body as strong hands crushed him and a tongue fought his into submission.

He moaned, growing painfully hard. Lex had never enjoyed being a submissive to anyone's dominate, but suddenly, the idea of being taken by Clark thrilled him.

But not today.

"Clark," Lex gasped, pulling back. He winced when the hands tightened a bit. "You're hurting me."

"Sorry," said Clark, easing his grip. "You're wearing too much. Can I... " he trailed off, pulling at Lex's shirt, trying to rip it over his head.

"Don't tear it, please." Lex moved back and pulled his shirt off, tossing it aside.

Clark wasted no time in pulling Lex back into his arms, latching his mouth onto Lex's and kissing him deeply. His hot, wet tongue delved in and out of Lex's mouth, swirling around his tongue. Each spot his touched seemed to send hot sparks of liquid pleasure shooting through Lex's body.

Aroused to the point of pain, Lex shifted his hips, trying to ease some of the weight. He was desperate for pressure against his cock, needing to feel something hard between his thighs. But, he didn't want to frighten Clark, so Lex did his best to keep from grinding against him. As tempting as the thought was.

Somehow, though, as Lex shifted his body, his knee came in contact with the hard on that Clark was sporting. When he pressed against it, Clark's body jerked and he almost fell over onto Lex. Mouth somewhere in the vicinity of Lex's throat, he moaned and bit down, sucking hard, as if seeking control over his response by distracting himself with something else.

"Fuck, Clark," Lex sighed.

"You taste good," Clark muttered, moving down farther. He leaned Lex backwards, arching Lex towards the floor, holding him just above the cheap carpet with strong arms. Flicking his eyes to meet Lex's for a moment, he turned his attention to Lex's chest, finding a nipple and sucking. Hard.

"Shit," Lex hissed. His hand fell back on the floor, bracing himself to take some of his weight off Clark's hands. The carpet was rough and scratchy; not exactly something he would like to lie on, but he wasn't going to worry about that now.

Clark ran one work roughed hand over the nipple he had just sucked on. Lex whimpered; he'd never been touched by someone with such calloused hands before. All his lovers had skin like his own: smooth, pampered, and perfect. He'd never thought that it might feel different—better- - to be with someone who didn't get a weekly manicure. But Clark's touched sent hot thrills through his body, each one connecting to a nerve that sent pleasure directly to his cock. It felt wonderful and, strangely, honest. Clean.

Moving to his other nipple, Clark gently bit, raking his teeth until Lex was sore. One he had teased it until it was raw, he began licking it repetitively, like a cat lapping at cream.  
Lex's stomach tightened suddenly in a pure, painful pleasure. It was too much and suddenly, if he didn't have some sort of pressure on his cock, he was going to go crazy.  
Pushing Clark back up, Lex moved so he was straddling Clark's leg and pressed hard. He groaned at the pressure, his body shuddering. And then, suddenly, underneath him, Clark went ridged, sending out a silent cry of fear.  
Lex opened his eyes to see what was wrong.  
Hands on Lex's shoulders, stiff, elbows locked, Clark was pale under his tan.  
"What's wrong?" Lex asked softly. He slid off Clark's leg, eyes locked on his face.  
Clark shook his head, and began backing away slowly.  
"Clark? Talk to me."  
"I… I can't," he whispered. "I'm not ready."  
Lex furrowed his eyebrows. "For what?"

Clark's eyes dropped to the bulge in Lex's slacks, a deep red flush of pure humiliation coloring his cheeks. "More." He sank to the floor, scooting until his back was against the wall, drawing his knees to his chest and wrapping his arms around them.

"Ah." Understanding dawning, Lex sat on the floor as well, facing Clark. Trying to make eye contact with the boy's elusive eyes, Lex said, "Define more."

Clark took a deep breath, fixing his eyes on his toes. "Sex, I guess. I mean," his cheeks began to burn red, "the… uh, well… stuff."

"You're not ready to have sex," he repeated. "Do you mean penetrative sex or any kind?"

He shrugged, obviously uncomfortable.

"Clark, don't get embarrassed. You need to tell me this and you need to be able to say it. If you don't want do something, then tell me. I have to know."

"Ok," he said very, very softly.

Lex sighed. "You're not ready to have sex. That's fine. But I need to know what you mean by sex. Do you mean anything below the waist? Just things where your or my dick goes into a hole? Or only anal sex?"

If Clark blushed any harder he would be glowing.

He shrugged again, not saying anything, not looking at Lex.

Biting his lip, Lex cocked his head, then asked, "Do you want me to suck you off?"

One shoulder hitched.

Lex crawled closer to Clark. Watching his face carefully, Lex tugged Clark's arms from around his knees. Then he pulled the long legs down, parting them so he was kneeling in between.

Keeping his hands on his knees, Lex asked, "Do you want me to touch you?"

Clark started to say something, stopped, licked his lips, then said, "I guess."

"That's not good enough, Clark. You have to tell me what I'm allowed to do, or I won't do anything."

"Why?"

"Because if you can't say it, you're not ready to do it," he replied simply. Honestly.

Clark tilted his head, looking up at Lex. "Are you afraid of getting in trouble?"

Lex held his eyes. "A little. This is complicated enough without things being clear between us. You know that...t hat this isn't exactly legal, right?"

"Yeah, I know. But I'm only six months under the age of consent."

"Right. You're six months _under_. And while I'm not afraid that you're going to file charges or something, I'm still on shaky legal ground. The smart thing for us to do would be to stop and forget all this."

"I don't want to do that."

He suppressed a pleased smile at Clark's firm and immediate response. "Then we have to set some rules. And one of the rules is that you have to tell me what you are willing and ready to do if you want me to do it. I'm not going to guess."

Clark took a deep breath. "Why are you doing this? Any of this?"

Laughing softly, Lex cupped Clark's cheek. "Because you're enchanting me. I've tried to be reasonable with myself, I've tried to be smart and I just can't. You draw me, enthrall me. I want you. But, I want you on terms that you can handle. You're young and I can be patient. Very patient."

Clark nodded, nuzzling his hand. "Ok." He took a deep breath, licking his lips. "I think... no, I know I want to slow down a little. Today. All of this is so new and I'm just not ready to... to jump in. I'm scared."

"Ok. That's fine. What do you want to do?"

"Kiss you. Hold you. Talk." His eyes were wide and scared, searching.

Leaning into Clark, Lex kissed him gently and deeply. "That's fine," he said when he pulled back.

Grinning, Clark grabbed their shirts and spread them on the floor. "The carpet sucks, I know. When I was a kid, Pete used to get rug burns from when we would play soldier and stuff. We stopped coming once a friend of ours got a bigger tree house, but I hated that one. Sometimes I still come here to think, but mostly I stay in the loft." Clark licked his lips. "I once had a girl up here, but that was a disaster. Rug burns all over."

"A girl?" He managed to keep the note of jealousy that threatened to enter his tone. He was not jealous of a girl from Clark's past; it would be too juvenile.

A shoulder hitched as Clark lay back, drawing Lex with him. "My seventh grade girlfriend. I still had a crush Lana, but Jenny was sweet. We fooled around a little, but she moved and it ended." He was running his hand down Lex's chest, petting, touching more out of curiosity than lust.

Lex propped himself on his elbow, facing Clark. "What's scaring you more about all this? That I was pushing to fast or that I'm a guy?"

"A little of both, I think. Obviously that you're a guy. I'd never even thought about it before you. Then, once you came into my life, it was impossible not to think of it. And I know I want you, I really do, but I'm... I'm kind of inexperienced and not all that comfortable with everything. I've never, uh, well, since I was little I've never been naked with another person in a sex like way. And when I was little, I mean little kid stuff. Exploring, playing, that sort of thing." The blush was back, his eyes now fastened somewhere around Lex's neck. "Locker rooms don't count of course. I'm just... nervous."

"It's understandable. Most people are." Lex ran a languid hand down Clark's body, tracing up and down, enjoying the way his skin felt.

"How old were you when you, uh..." he trailed off, embarrassed.

"What? Lost my virginity or first fucked a guy?"

Clark shrugged.

Sighing, Lex leaned in and licked along Clark's collar bone. He was getting cold and Clark's body was nice and warm. "Fourteen."

"For which?"

"Everything. Within two months of my fourteenth birthday I'd been with a girl, fucked a man and had one fuck me. Not in the order, either. That was the start of my promiscuous years."

"Wow."

"Indeed." He smiled, kissing Clark, who responded eagerly. "You'll find," he whispered, breaking the kiss, "that I never really had any innocence, and once I realized that, I did a lot of things I probably shouldn't have."

Strong arms wrapped around his waist, holding him close. "But that's in the past."

"Maybe. Or maybe your father is right, and I can't change."

"No. He's not right about you. I know you, Lex. You aren't a bad guy."

Lex sighed and rested his head in the crook of Clark's neck. "When you look at me, I feel like two different people. One of them is the same dirty, perverted person I've always been, and I'm convinced that I'll never rise above my past."

"And the other?"

"A whole new person. One that you saved and save again every day."

The arms tightened and lips pressed against his head. "Always, Lex. Always."

***

The dream was familiar by now, but that didn't make it any less terrifying. The pounding music, the squeal of breaks, the terrified eyes that locked into his. And, finally, the crash itself as a car slammed into him, thrusting through the rail, his body flying through the air and . . .

"No!" Lex cried, jerking out of his dream.

Something was crushing his chest, forcing him to fight for air. It felt as if a giant weight was pressing against him, stronger and stronger each passing second. His heart was beating against his ribs like a trapped bird attempting to break free.

His hands fumbled in his pockets for his inhaler. They were shaking so badly that he had trouble getting a hold on it to pull the damn thing out. When he finally got, he dropped it onto the floor.

Black spots began flying at his face, dizzying. Lex barely saw them, though; all he could see was the image from his dream. Of him hitting Clark.

But that was wrong. That's how the dream usually went. This time, the car hit him and he was Clark.

The thought flew past his disoriented mind _"That wasn't my dream._

Lex inhaled hard. A dull pain raked from his throat to his chest, making him double over.

"I've got it. Here," Clark said softly, his voice intense but calming. He thrust the inhaler into Lex's hands and helped him lift it to his mouth, supporting the back of his head with one strong hand.

Gratefully, Lex squeezed it, inhaling the air. Tears were in his eyes from the pain and the fear, but he concentrated on breathing, willing the medication to work. The inhaler had to work; he'd left his other meds at home, thinking he wouldn't need anything for a trip into town.

Clark wrapped an arm around him, drawing him against the warm body. He rocked them slowly, making soothing sounds, kissing Lex gently.

When Lex could breathe, he dropped the inhaler into his lap, hands coming up to grasp Clark's forearms, wrapped around his stomach and chest. " I hit you," he said, his voice a little breathy.

"What?"

"With my car. I hit you."

Clark shook his head, pressing a kiss into his temple. "No, you didn't. I told you, Lex. I was standing . . ."

"I saw it," Lex insisted. "Just now, in my dream. I saw it, only I was you and I felt you get hit. I felt you flying through the air and landing in the water. I felt it."

Clark stilled, halting his rocking, but only a moment. Taking a deep breath, he shook his head, his hair brushing against Lex's skull. "It was a dream. You didn't hit me. If you had, we'd both be dead. And we aren't. You hit the rail beside me and I jumped in after you. That's all."

"But I saw it," he whispered.

"It was a dream," Clark said firmly, in a tone that brooked no argument. "It was just a dream and nothing more."

And then, very clearly in Lex's head, he heard, _"But it was my dream. I don't know how, but he saw my dream."_  
Lex froze. It was happening again, this random channeling of Clark's thoughts. And if he really was hearing Clark's thoughts, that was, if he weren't simply, in fact, going insane, then maybe, just maybe, he had really seen Clark's dream as well.

"Lex?"

"Nothing. I'm fine." He sighed. "It was a pretty scary dream."

"Yeah. It is." Clark pulled Lex tighter against him.

The sun had set, leaving the tree house in darkness. Outside, a few crickets were singing feebly. The air was cold and damp. And Lex was freezing. But Clark was nice and warm.

He pressed against Clark harder, trying to burrow into his warmth.

"You're so cold," Clark whispered. He lifted one of Lex's hands to his mouth, blowing warm air into it, then kissing along the palm to his wrist.

"But you're warm. You're better than an electric blanket. I should take you home and have you warm my bed at night."

"I'm blushing."

"I'm sure you are." He shivered suddenly and sneezed.

Clark pulled away. "Get dressed. You need to go home and warm up."

"So soon?"

"My parents are probably worried as it is. I said I'd be home hours ago. Besides, we can't see each other anymore. What fun can we have?"

Lex couldn't resist. Tugging his shirt over his head, he reached out blindly and slid his hand along Clark's belly, easing around to trace his spine. "Some of the best games are played in the dark."

"So I'm told. But not today."

"Fine," Lex sighed. He stretched and winced. "I think I'm bruised." Gingerly, he felt along his torso. There were several tender and slightly mushy parts. "Ouch."

"Geeze, Lex, I'm sorry. I was trying to be careful, really. I just ... I guess I got over excited, that's all." His voice was so unbelievably earnest, so very worried that Lex had to smile.

"It's ok, Clark." Heat seeker that he was, Lex fell against Clark's body, wrapping his arms around him. His eyes were becoming adjusted to the dimness and he was just able to make out Clark's pretty features. "Sex can lead to bruises sometimes. But I think the pleasure is well worth the pain."

"But we didn't have sex."

He brushed his lips on the underside of Clark's jaw. "Doesn't matter. What we did was well worth the pain." He licked Clark, tasting the tangy skin before regretfully pulling back. "If I don't leave now, I never will." Lex began crawling towards the door.

Clark followed him, silently climbing out of the tree house and closing the door behind them. Hand in hand, Clark and Lex walked through the grove of trees towards the road.

"Can I ... come see you tomorrow?" Clark asked after a moment.

"Sadly no," Lex sighed. "I have a seminar on Monday in Metropolis and I'll be busy putting everything together. I really need the time. How about Tuesday?"

"I'm not sure. My curfew is ten thirty on school nights and I don't know how much homework I'll have."

Lex nodded. "Well, if you have time this week, drop by, at least to say hello. Morning or night."

Clark hesitated, then asked, "Who was that guy last time I was there? Tall, dark hair, built?"

"That would be Damien. He's my assistant He lives at the house, helps me keep my appointments in order. He basically helps with everything."

"Everything?"

"He brings me my coffee in the morning, draws my bath when I'm too wrapped up with work, makes and keeps my appointments, deals with people who get past my secretary, that sort of stuff. He's been with me on and off for the last two years, ever since my father decided I needed someone to manage my affairs. And Damien does that." He smiled briefly. "I've found that, contrary to expectation, it's better to allow one person manage everything because their silence is easier to buy than many people with a little information on you and your activities. Damien is discreet. Just like Mabel. Don't worry about him."

"And don't be jealous?"

Turning to Clark, Lex stopped, gazing at his almost-lover's moonlight face. "No. Don't be jealous." He glanced over at the road, making sure his car was there. Assured it was, he turned back to Clark. "So, this is good-night. Come over this week."

"I will." Clark leaned in and kissed Lex softly, gently, and oh so sweetly. "Good-night."

" 'Night." With one last kiss, Lex turned and went to his car. Clark was still watching him as he pulled away and drove home.


End file.
